When You’ve Clicked Refresh a Million Times

And you find no new message

no funny story to distract you from your current anxieties

when you’ve hoped for an inspiration from a screen – a text, a story, some email bringer of good tidings….

it’s in that few seconds of loading another whisper calls your name

and offers you truly good tidings of great joy.

When anxiety and your own brokenness clink like broken bottles in your backpack

there is another place to go to find distraction from your thoughts

there is a place of peace.

And it comes at a battle and it comes without price.

Because you have to stake a claim on it – and that requires a battle to silence all that whirls, and calls and shouts your name. All those thoughts, all those repeated mistakes and fears of being exposed… all of that and you have to shut it down – and sometimes when you stand on the edge of a cliff with all that noise and chaos jumping about in your back pack and threatening to tip you over – you get to choose to take that back pack off and throw it off the cliff.

and sometimes you need help just to let that worry go that you have had for so long – and help awaits, help is there to assist.

Then you turn and fall into the ‘without price’, and you allow the empty spaces to be filled with peace that cannot be explained or even fully comprehended. And you allow your quiet self to rest, and be, and linger.

and you get a true ‘refresh’ and from that ‘refresh’ come answers and sometimes no answers just the peace that it is well with my soul and the answers don’t matter any more.

Just a reminder that the story isn’t finished and you are in the hands of a master storyteller.

…. and maybe the end of a chapter is drawing nigh and the promise of a new beginning looms….


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