Have you ever been caught jumping in before you had permission to do something? Like that time you assumed the baking was for the family and cut a slice of too-good-to-be-true cake and then found out it was for someone else?
Like the 2-year-old boy who discovered all the wrapped Christmas presents hiding in bags ready for unwrapping – every single one?
We get taught it early to wait for permission. Ask before we take, to make sure it’s our turn before we get on the trampoline, to wait for the all-clear.
I feel like this is a thing I’ve taken and made my own as an adult. Like it’s not okay to launch into the great adventure before being told I’m allowed to.
I’ve waited and waited for someone else to believe in my competence.
I’ve hoped to hear someone say – we’ve made a space for you, we’ve created a platform, we want you, we need you, it’s your turn. I’ve watched people get promoted, I’ve watched people be ‘discovered’, I’ve wondered and wondered when it will be my turn.
I’ve realised I’m living loud and bold in some things but in others I’m fluttering, unsure on the periphery waiting for permission I don’t actually need.
When I think about Jesus and his dealings with people they seem to be initiated with a ‘come’ or a ‘go’.
come to me you who are burdened and I will give you rest,
let the little children come to me
come and follow me
then there are the go’s
go and tell the world
go back to your servant and it will be as you have asked
go and live free from sin
Jesus didn’t say
wait until you have completed my special checklist
wait until you have a following
wait until someone else decides you are ready, competent, qualified.
The only wait the disciples were given was to wait for the Holy Spirit – the Holy Spirit who is all the power, peace, grace, strength and permission we need. This week I’m challenged to stop wasting time looking for permission to do something and start investing my effort and thought and prayers into how I can get on with doing the things that make my heart beat fast.
As I go towards these things I remind myself that the One is with me and that His permission, approval are all I need and that He is more than capable of making a way for each of us.
Be brave today dear heart and live free to be all you have been called to be.
xxx
Miriam Jessie 