Grief

There are people in my life at the moment carry loss – deep loss, unexpected loss, unfair loss, wave after wave of losses and change. I find myself standing on the edges of it, breath held I fill up like a balloon holding the pressure of these things and hoping they will make a companion of grief when she calls. Hoping that they will be tender with themselves. This is the poem I have written for them.

she will come to you

of this I am sure

insistent, intense, quiet

and you will raise your voice

and your pace

and make snide comments in her presence

about people who wallow

instead of getting on

making the best of things

tough things happen to everyone

you will silently pat yourself on the back

even as your palms tingle

breath shortens

heart beats as a bird unwillingly caged

you feel her waiting

her breath hot upon your collar

she will not breach the high walls of your hard work

your effort

your white knuckled cheerful determination

as a friend I bid you welcome her

I do not deny it will be painful

for a time

all your fortifications knocked down

the city of your emotions ravaged

you will hate her

but

if you will finally raise the ragged flag of your surrender

you will find her not a tyrant

but a handmaid

she has not caused the wound

but she will undress and re-dress it

she will tend to its realities

gentle, she will offer you rest as a prescription

she will speak aloud the names you have forbidden

after a time she will whisper you lullabies

and hold you while you weep

collecting every tear

as evidence of

your courage to see and bear

and let your heart keep limping in its beating

friend

I bid you welcome grief

she is a tender companion

to accompany you

to the other side of this great wound

Miriam Jessie x

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Friday Eleven – for Peace

Friday Blessing: For Peace

When sorrows come like waves on the shore and when your world is groaning under the weight of despair,

May Peace whisper quiet from the shadows and keep company with your heart in every beat.

When justice seems delayed and fairness denied,

May Peace give strength to your resolve to speak truth with love and courage.

When all feels unattainable and fear looms large on your horizons,

May the Prince of Peace gather you in His arms and reassure you the story is not finished and His Presence will be with you – always.

eleven peace

Thinking of you wherever you find yourself today. May the Peace of God be a fortress around your heart and keep you anchored in whatever storms may come your way.

All the love

Miriam x

Friday Eight: For Searching

Our lives are not a one time arrival. We search for so many things – great and small. The lost keys, the purpose of life. St Augustine penned one of my favourite ever quotes, ‘Our hearts are made for you and they are restless until they find their rest in you.’

Maybe your search today is small.

Maybe you’ve tired of looking for the big thing that seems impossible to find.

Today I want to bless you in the search.

For Searching

May you have courage to look in unexpected places, to keep your mind and heart open to trying again, and again.

May you have humility to release your previous misconceptions when you find unexpected answers.

May your journey bring you the things you seek and more than you could have imagined,

and may you have the joy of finding those who ask find, those who seek discover and those that knock find the door opened and themselves welcomed in.

friday 8 searching

Today and always may we be unafraid of asking questions, listening to advice and may there be unexplainable joy in the finding.

so much love and affection for you today, wherever you find yourself.

Friday Five: For the Wounded Heart

My heart has been whispering comfort to you this week. It’s been standing next to you wounded ones. Don’t we all become wounded on this journey? And aren’t we all guilty of the words that fly too soon from their quiver and damage another dear heart?

Blessing for the Unjustly Wounded:

When unjust words pierce deeper than skin,

when judgements come to you like torpedoes and leave emotional debris scattered across your heart,

May you know Jesus betrayed and denied by the ones he loved intimately.

May His love beat loud in your heart – accepted, justified, known, noticed.

May you have all the measure of grace you need to guard your heart, to forgive, to live free of bitterness,

and may you be increased in the pain – may your life song sing louder the sweet notes of grace and kindness when given to the ones who deserve them least.

friday 5 wounded

May we all live through the hurt – not above it, not sunken by it, but through it – feeling it’s sting yet secure that we are loved, that justice is real. And may we each be made stronger in the difficulty of choosing forgiveness.

In it all may we always remember the generous, undeserved forgiveness we have been so freely and lavishly served.

xx

Friday Four: For Peace

It can be all too easy to start the year holding on to calm when we are on holiday and relaxed – then reality comes crashing in and all that peace we thought was ours to keep, disappears.

If your peace has vanished like a vapour this is my blessing for you.

A Blessing for Peace

May you have the courage to stop and be still in the midst of pressing deadlines,

May your heart beat loud the message you are loved outside of what you do and achieve,

May there be a silence that defeats the roaring of voices, waves and earthquakes,

and in the silence may you hear the whisper of the One who promises Peace that goes deeper than all understanding.

May Peace stand as a gatekeeper at the doorway of your heart and drive away anxious, fearful, stressed out thoughts – today and always.

friday 4 peace

When turmoil seeks to overwhelm may you feel sure in all the promises you have been given. May we all ask for and receive the Peace we are promised.

xxx

 

Friday two: For letting go

Continuing my Friday blessing series. (2 counts as a series doesn’t it?)

A prayer/blessing for letting go

May you have the courage to recognise the patterns that limit you

May you have bravery to name the fears that keep you being less than you are called to be

May you have friends who love you as you lay down your burdens

May you know what it is to be loved regardless of your unloveliness

and may you know the joy of finding new and open spaces where old habits and fears once lived.

friday 2 letting go

In order to make room in our loves for new things – new challenges, new life, new creativity – we must find the courage to let go of the walls and ways of being that hold us captive in living our old life.

May we all walk bravely toward the One who calls us to be new creations. May we find new growth where once we saw barrenness.

Isaiah 54

“Afflicted city, lashed by storms and not comforted,
    I will rebuild you with stones of turquoise,
    your foundations with lapis lazuli.
I will make your battlements of rubies,
    your gates of sparkling jewels,
    and all your walls of precious stones.
 All your children will be taught by the Lord,
    and great will be their peace.
In righteousness you will be established:
Tyranny will be far from you;
    you will have nothing to fear.
Terror will be far removed;
    it will not come near you.

Friday 1

Many moons ago when I was very much familiar with certain Christian practices and unfamiliar with others, a wise man came to visit us. Dressed in a quirky style, older, the artist type – he was definitely not a regular fit where we usually Sunday-ed.

At the end of his visit he said, “I’d like to bless you.” It felt strange this turn of phrase and stranger still when he pulled out a well-thumbed book and read a blessing to us. We had an awkward pause at the end and I in all my 22 year old wisdom felt uncomfortable on his behalf, on his lack of fitting in, on his being strange.

But that moment endured and put down roots in my heart – this celebration of words we didn’t write ourselves, this celebration of words that weren’t only scriptures, this use of words to claim a sacred pause, this use of words to speak –  life, kindness, hope, love – into the life of another.

Since then I’ve become a fan of ‘the blessing’.

I recognise its shape in the cards I write.

I turn blessings over in my heart like gifts of love from one to another – examining and delighting in them from many angles.

I like a blessing sincerely delivered. It’s good, so good.

I want to bless you this year dear ones. I want to articulate hope, and life, and lovely, over you. I want to take a moment on Fridays, and bless you.

I might use my words or I might borrow a blessing I have found. But I want to bless you, and it’s okay if that’s a little quirky, a little strange, a little not what we are used to – because life is an adventure and straying from the path of your usual style might just bring you to a thicket of bluebells in the woods.

friday one

Friday One: A blessing for new endeavours.

May you have courage to try new steps, even if they are wobbly and unsure.

May you have bravery to believe that you too are capable of being more than you are today.

May you have perseverance to stand and step again after you fall for the first, the second, the twentieth time.

May you always know mercies that are new every morning, strength for each moment and the enduring hope of the words that remind us – we are never abandoned, we are always watched over, we have a future.

And, may your new endeavours bring more to your life than you could hope, ask or imagine.

Let’s not despise the day of small beginnings. Be blessed today dear one. xxx